The # 1 Thing All Happily Married People Have As A Common Factor

The # 1 Thing All Happily Married People Have As A Common Factor

No, it’s perhaps perhaps not “healthy interaction” or “quality time together.”

We read a complete great deal about relationships.

Being truly a writer that is top love, therapy, and relationships on Medium requires plenty of research whenever you’re maybe maybe not really a psychologist (or hitched, for example).

Recently, we read guide called The Seven Principles to make Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver. Admittedly, we picked this name because my boyfriend and I also intend on engaged and getting married soon, and, well, we’re really hoping making it work.

The idea that is overall of those concepts (and each great therapy book I’ve ever read) comes down to this:

All cheerfully maried people display friend behavior that is best.

Based on Gottman and Silver, “Friendship fuels the flames of relationship since it supplies the protection that is best against feeling adversarial toward your partner.”

Think you >overwhelming disproportionate to the negative thoughts about it: when. She forgot to order your sandwich without onion, would you give her “the look” or start shouting about how “selfish and inconsiderate” she is for not remembering the way you like your sandwich if you meet a friend for lunch and? Needless to say maybe not; you can you select from the onions, make bull crap about onion breathing in the office, and thank her for purchasing meal.

The positivity bias of a relationship makes it simple to appear past mistakes or frustrations that are small. Positivity bias takes place when a relationship has already established a lot of good interactions that negative interactions are chalked as much as an anomaly.Continue reading